Little introduction to this article series:
• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Will always showcase the big 3 (WWF/E, WCW, TNA).
• Will sprinkle in some ECW every now and then. We don’t want TOO much bloodshed too early in the morning, now do we?
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.
Now as tiffany Rosemarie Townsend once said to myself and Brady…let’s get to the action!
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL
I’m a little embarrassed that it took me THIS LONG to post a Shark Boy match. So here we go, folks: Shark Boy vs. some Samoan guy NOT named The Rock in a 6-sided TNA ring.
MID CARD HANGOVER
Our second match features “The Model” Rick Martel and Tatanka squaring off at Wrestlemania VIII. This match reminded me of the only two highlights from that Wrestlemania: the walkway that took wrestlers forever to walk to and from the ring (which we see in the opening minutes of this video), and the Randy Savage/Ric Flair match (which Gorilla and the Brain talk about pretty much the whole match).
Things to keep an eye/ear out for:
• I love how Gorilla had to stress that Tatanka is “a REAL Native American” or a “TRUE Native American.” I guess he had to even out Bobby Heenan’s hilariously delicious racism.
• What in the HELL is that singing right when the starting bell rang?!?!
• I can see where TNA gets the idea of not announcing the match that’s going on after watching this stinkfest.
• Rick Martel has the SAME haircut your mom had at least once in her life. Think back…remember…your mom DID have the same haircut.
YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING
YOUR main event of the morning stars “Double A” Arn Anderson and The Great Muta in a 1989 NWA ring, which has The Great Muta putting his NWA World Television Championship against Double A. This match was a pleasure to watch and, if watched all the way through, should (re)ignite your desire to watch Double A or old school NWA matches.
Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:
• You know what? Arn Anderson IS a “tough cookie”…AND a “smart cookie”!
• I’m pretty sure that’s Jim Cornette commentating with Jim Ross. If so, he is….friggin…amazing.
• According to Cornette, “Buzz Sawyer is a sick man, he’s mentally ill…I love the guy!” And we love you, Jimmy!
• Take notes, Cena. If you want to represent the people, don’t wear as much merchandise as you can fit on you. Just wear black wrestling trunks, a horseshoe bald spot and a glistening mat of chest hair.
Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon and remember…
…your mom DID have the same haircut as “The Model” Rick Martel…