Squash Match Sunday-6


“No, it wasn’t a dream. Mark Henry is still the World Heavyweight Champ!”

Little introduction to this article series:

• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Will always showcase the big 3 (WWF/E, WCW, TNA).
• Will sprinkle in some ECW every now and then. We don’t want TOO much bloodshed too early in the morning, now do we?
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

Now as tiffany Rosemarie Townsend once said to myself and Brady…let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

I’m a little embarrassed that it took me THIS LONG to post a Shark Boy match. So here we go, folks: Shark Boy vs. some Samoan guy NOT named The Rock in a 6-sided TNA ring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcG3G0zN4&feature=related

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Our second match features “The Model” Rick Martel and Tatanka squaring off at Wrestlemania VIII. This match reminded me of the only two highlights from that Wrestlemania: the walkway that took wrestlers forever to walk to and from the ring (which we see in the opening minutes of this video), and the Randy Savage/Ric Flair match (which Gorilla and the Brain talk about pretty much the whole match).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_R4eFhk4sc

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• I love how Gorilla had to stress that Tatanka is “a REAL Native American” or a “TRUE Native American.” I guess he had to even out Bobby Heenan’s hilariously delicious racism.
• What in the HELL is that singing right when the starting bell rang?!?!
• I can see where TNA gets the idea of not announcing the match that’s going on after watching this stinkfest.
• Rick Martel has the SAME haircut your mom had at least once in her life. Think back…remember…your mom DID have the same haircut.

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

YOUR main event of the morning stars “Double A” Arn Anderson and The Great Muta in a 1989 NWA ring, which has The Great Muta putting his NWA World Television Championship against Double A. This match was a pleasure to watch and, if watched all the way through, should (re)ignite your desire to watch Double A or old school NWA matches.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYtTuRw_4QY&feature=related

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• You know what? Arn Anderson IS a “tough cookie”…AND a “smart cookie”!
• I’m pretty sure that’s Jim Cornette commentating with Jim Ross. If so, he is….friggin…amazing.
• According to Cornette, “Buzz Sawyer is a sick man, he’s mentally ill…I love the guy!” And we love you, Jimmy!
• Take notes, Cena. If you want to represent the people, don’t wear as much merchandise as you can fit on you. Just wear black wrestling trunks, a horseshoe bald spot and a glistening mat of chest hair.

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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon and remember…

…your mom DID have the same haircut as “The Model” Rick Martel…


3 Responses to Squash Match Sunday

  1. Avatar Pat Piper
    Pat Piper says:

    Did your mom have the Tatanka haircut?

  2. Avatar Young John
    Young John says:

    No???
    …maybe…