(Fade in to the KUM Arena, and a shot of your commentator for tonight’s show, “Downtown” Darryl Keagan).
“Downtown” Darryl Keagan: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a new edition of WNS. I’m DDK, and normally I’m so proud to bring you the action alongside the lovely Katie Holmes. Tonight, however, she has a match in the KUM World title tourney. Let’s get down to ringside.
Katie Holmes vs. Mystery Woman (with Brady Hicks and Maniac)
Katie Holmes made her way down to the ring but looked apprehensive to jump between the ropes at the sight of the masked, curvy woman who had Brady Hicks and Maniac standing behind her. When she climbed into the ring, the mysterious woman jumped her and began pummeling her in the face, repeatedly … leaving Holmes a bloody mess in the ring. At this point, Hicks pulled some sort of a wire out of his pocket and began choking out his former girlfriend, while Maniac started to peel the skin off her leg with a rusty butter knife!!! The Mystery woman then applied a leglock and got the submission!
Here is your winner … Brady Hicks’ Mystery Love Interest!!! And … as a result, Katie Holmes has been fired from KUM Wrestling!
DDK: Wow. It is truly the end of an era as Katie Holmes is now banished forever from KUM Wrestling, Tune in next week to see who will be my NEW broadcast colleague. Now, before we announce the next quarterfinal match … let’s take a minute to talk about KUM Wrestling’s return to pay-per-view, with Frostbite. Frostbite will be available LIVE on Sunday, February 19th. To order your free copy, write email@example.com. This uncensored pay-per-view will be available ONLY by e-mail! Before we go, let’s get to the back for a special message.
Heidi Fleiss: Thanks, Darryl. I’m joined right now by Ice T, a former champion in KUM Wrestling who will have his own quarterfinal match next week on WNS.
Ice T: And I’ve got a very special surprise for you all next week. Be sure to tune in, when I take it to Psycho Crusher.
To join KUM Wrestling and create your own wrestling characters, e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.