• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.
So take a break from your courses online and let’s get to the action!
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL
Ok, listen…we’re all hungover…no squash matches this morning…you guys are getting the good stuff.
Bret vs. Owen…Wrestlemania X
MID CARD HANGOVER
Oh God…5 hour happy hour does NOT mean you have to drink all 5 hours…UGHHH!
Cactus Jack vs. Vader…WCW Halloween Havok 1993
SPIN THE WHEEL!!!….MAKE THE DEAL…
Things to keep an eye/ear out for:
• The opening seconds of this video remind me of the girls last night BEFORE the beer goggles were put on.
• At 7:58 of the first part, you can hear the ref say “I don’t care, I’m not going down there!” I, in fact, laughed out loud.
• Is it weird that I want to wake up every morning just like Vader did? To Cactus Jack holding a cactus waiting for me to get up?
• Seriously…WHY didn’t you talk to that girl last night! She was staring a hole right through you! YOU could have been that douchebag she was tongue wrestling at midnight!!!
YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING
…feeling better…wait, I already did a WWE AND a WCW match? …screw it, let’s watch Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles.
…..vs. Christopher Daniels. TNA Unbreakable 2005. 3 way dance for the TNA X Division Belt.
Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:
• I know it’s kind of obvious who would win based on the fact that Samoa Joe was undefeated going into this match, but to be able to bill these 3 guys in your main event was a SURE FIRE way to boost the ratings. That’s why WWE is merely a farm promotion for TNA. I must still be drunk.
• How come everytime I see a wrestler caught up in a Tree of Woe, I hear Joey Lawrence finishing off the…WOAH!
• These 3 guys embody what a wrestler is supposed to be: agile, strong, perfect timimg, and the ability to keep the fans on the edge of their seats from bell to bell. So how come I can imagine these guys as curtain jerkers in WWE? Ugh, I think I’m sober.
Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon. Special thanks to everyone who watches these illegally used videos and voted for me in the Who’s Slammy Awards. I do this because I enjoy it, and if you guys watch these videos and it reminds you of a better time then that’s friggin awesome.
Just so you guys know though, the first 2 matches next week will be some Grade A Premium Quality SQUASH!