Browsing Posts in Squash Match Sunday



• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Leading off Squash Match Sunday is one of the most hardcore legends in professional wrestling history, the Sandman, taking on….THE ZOMBIE?!?! Only in ECW *coughonSciFicough*!

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Disco Inferno squares off with Billy Kidman (c) for the WCW Cruiserweight Title in our Mid Card Hangover match of the morning. Is it me or is Kidman the ONLY wrestler who ever wore knee pads AND elbow pads?

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• It’s almost as if Tony and Bobby KNOW that people would be watching this match in the far future, so they need to hammer home that Disco Inferno is NOT a cruiserweight and is tired from trying to make weight for this match.
• Kidman’s finisher was a front flip senton called the “Seven Year Itch”. My point is…this &#$%^@$ was dating Torrie Wilson!!!

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

YOUR Main Event of the Morning was also YOUR main event at the very FIRST Wrestlemania as Mr. T and Hulk Hogan (with Superfly Jimmy Snuka) grapple with Rowdy Roddy Piper and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndoff (with “Ace” Cowboy Bob Orton).

    Part One:

    Part Two:

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• You might recognize those two bow-tied men in the ring prior to the start of the match: the FIRST WWF Intercontinental Champion Muhammad Ali and of course the greatest boxer of all time…Pat Patterson!
• It’s funny…I’ve solved many of my OWN problems in life by moving in time so Bob Orton nailed it with his surgical cast.
• I feel like “smark” wrestling fans can’t really say anything in terms of The Situation and Kevin Federline stepping into the squared circle…friggin Mr. T headlined Wrestlemania ONE!!!…at least he uses the tag rope…
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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon!



• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Let’s start off Squash Match Sunday with the most historic squash match in pro wrestling history. You know what I’m talking about…it’s the Fingerpoke of Doom! I apologize for the quality…and the video is kind of bad too.

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Jake “The Snake” Roberts takes on “The Model” Rick Martel in their infamous Blindford match at Wrestlemania VII. This match came about because Martel blinded Roberts with his big cologne sprayer. And no, that’s not what she said.

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• This is quite possibly the only tolerable Blindfold match. Honorable mention: Jamie Noble vs. Nidia in a Boyfriend vs. Girlfriend Blindfold match at No Way Out 2004.
• It’s funny to think of Jake Roberts as a fan favorite, as you can see when he’s using the crowd to help find Martel. You rarely see a face these days who are slow, methodical, soft-spoken and carries a large reptile.

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

TU evento principal de la noche…whoops…I mean YOUR Main Event of the Morning takes us to AAA Lucha Libre where a 19 year old Rey Mysterio Jr, Heavy Metal and Latin Lover take on Fuerza Guerrero, Madonna’s Boyfriend (Louie Spicolli) and Psychosis in an exciting six man tag team match to cap off your Sunday morning.

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• Only Louie Spicolli would have the in-ring name of “Madonna’s Boyfriend”. RIP creator of the Spicolli Driver.
• WWE can learn a thing or two from this match. One of them being to have 2 overweight, suspender-wearing Mexican men as the referees.
• Be amazed at how young these guys are as well as the skill they’re showing off! Marvel at the most anti-climactic ending in pro wrestling history!
• Seriously, I miss WCW’s cruiserweight division so much. Do I mention that enough??

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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon!

SQUASH MATCH SUNDAY

“Featuring wins as easy as Sunday morning”

Hey guys, so I’ve been insanely sick all week and haven’t had the brain power to pick and critique three matches so here’s the very FIRST Squash Match Sunday for your consideration!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

 
Our first match features WWE Hall of Famers Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter teaming up to take on the Beverly Brothers. No witty commentary needed for this match AND it will only waste 3 minutes of your time!

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Our mid card match showcases the cruiserweight division of WCW, where we have Jamie Noble squaring off against Jimmy Yang (both former members of the Yung Dragons). While this match isn’t technically considered a squash based on the equal amount of offense that both these men present in this match, the brief amount of time allotted for the match makes it more than a candidate for Squash Match Sunday.

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:
• A plug for WCW Backstage Assault, the widely panned Playstation game that tried to market off of the hardcore movement that was taking place around that time.
• The god awful WCW commentary team, especially the line “WOAH!!! HE’S PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY!!” uttered by Mark Madden (I believe). This phrase perfectly describes the vibe of WCW circa 2000.
• “LUGER’S UP TO SOMETHING!!!”
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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

 
Our main event features Samoa Joe (who was riding his 18-month undefeated streak) and Mr. Wrestling Machine himself, Kurt Angle. This match was a HUGE deal back in 2006 regardless of brand loyalty or how often you watched TNA. Samoa Joe was on a mythical level at this point, and Kurt Angle was (at this point) the hottest free-agent acquisition in TNA history.

Part 1

Part 2

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• Good to see that TNA pulled out all the stops by holding this classic main event in the hallowed halls of the Impact! Zone.

• Not sure why Jeremy Borash had to mention that he weighed Angle that morning. I like to think that Angle was weighed that morning by Borash before they went out to the Golden Eagle Diner to split a grapefruit and some whole wheat flapjacks.
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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday and as Hacksaw Jim Duggan so eloquently says…..HOOOOOOO!



• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

“The Juicer” Art Barr takes..on..uhh…what a creepy friggin’ gimmick. Watch some creeper in face paint run around with kids in face paint for your Early Bird Special.

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MID CARD HANGOVER

T.J. Perkins takes on Mr. “Desmond Wolfe” himself, Nigel McGuinness in the Mid Card Hangover match this morning. After all the booze you drank last night, I’m sure your head must feel like you just got hit with Nigel’s “Tower of London” finisher.

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• Every wrestler from here on out who is on the receiving end of a wristlock should exclaim “OIIII!” the way Nigel McGuinness does in this match.
• Seems like Perkins got caught in the air for a bit during that frog cross body splash. Because he’s very light, you see!

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

Lawrence Taylor and Bam Bam Bigelow headline your SUPER BOWL-themed Main Event of the Morning in a Lumberjack match at Wrestlemania XI. Look out for Steve “Mongo” McMichael as well as other former NFL players who are probably dead broke around now.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• Funny to see Pat Patterson as a ref, and Nikolai Volkoff as a guy at ringside with a cent sign on his shirt.
• Big props to Bam Bam for jobbing to an ex(?)coke addict…then again this IS the WWF in the 1990s.
• Please answer the following question in the comments below: Would you wear a WWF Lawrence Taylor jersey? I know it’s hard to imagine without the bike shorts but you KNOW that would strike up some interesting conversation!

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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon!


• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Sherri Martel and Madusa kick things off here on Squash Match Sunday as they grapple in a WCW Thunder ring back in 2000. Special appearances by Ed “Oklahoma” Ferrara, Stacy “Miss Hancock” Keibler, and a new nose for Madusa! As well as two new additions. Can you spot them???

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Our Mid Card Hangover match takes us to TNA Slammiversary 2004 as AJ Styles takes on Jeff Hardy for the X Division Championship. This match marked Jeff Hardy’s first appearance in TNA let alone his first match. This summer will mark 8 YEARS in TNA for Jeff!

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• “AND THE CROWD IS GOING BANANAS!!!” – Don West. Not sure what produce store Mr. West shops at, but the crowd is NOT going bananas.
• Kid Kash and Lance “Dallas” Hoyt run-in takes away from this above-average match. I don’t know WHY I keep thinking Kash is dead, but apparently…he’s NOT!

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

YOUR Main Event of the Morning takes us to one of the most memorable non-Rumble matches at a Royal Rumble, as the Undertaker takes on Yokozuna for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship in a Casket Match. This match is more well-known for what happens AFTER the match instead of the ACTUAL match.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• This match has given me a new found respect for Yokozuna. Between his facial reactions to the casket and him spilling out of the ring and comically walking into the ring post at 6:08, he is receiving my vote for the Hall of Fame!
• I definitely cracked up when Yokozuna pushed the Undertaker into the casket at 10:00, and while the Undertaker was standing up in the casket, Yokozuna asked the ref to close the lid. Earl Hebner closes it on Undertaker in the most awkward fashion possible.
• Royal Rumble 1994 was the ‘last’ for a few things. One being this was the last PPV before Wrestlemania X (the start of the “Attitude Era”), as well as the Undertaker wearing grey for his ring attire.

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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon!


• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
_____________________

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Matt Sydal (aka Evan Bourne) kicks us off in the Early Bird Special as he engages in a spot-fest with Jack Evans in a Wrestling Society X ring. Noteworthy appearances by Lizzy Valentine as well as Zakk Wylde.

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Our Mid Card Hangover showcases two of WWE’s most prolific Olympic athletes, as Kurt Angle takes on “Sexual Chocolate” Mark Henry in a RAW IS WAR ring back in February of 2000. Don’t be fooled by these big names squaring off…it’s a stinker.

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• I wonder how far along that hand is inside Mae Young’s 232 year old womb.
• Barbara Bush (aka B.B.) makes an early appearance as a paramedic. If you remember B.B., you are a wonderful person.
• This is the best finish I’ve seen in a looooong time: Kurt Angle wins by DQ AND he Olympic Slams Mae Young. OH IT’S TRUE…IT’S DAMN TRUE!

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

YOUR Main Event of the Morning honors arguably the most prolific and dominant stable in professional wrestling history as the Four Horsemen (Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, and Lex Luger) along with War Machine (aka a masked Big Boss Man) take on Dusty Rhodes, Nikita Koloff, The Road Warriors and Precious Paul Ellering in the THIRD EVER War Games match!

Part 1:

Part 2:

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• I love how the crowd is snapping out a few minutes into the match because Dusty Rhodes is about to place a standing leg lock on Arn Anderson. Goes to show that bravado is rarely seen this day and age in a modern wrestling ring.
• It’s kind of hard to tell who the faces are based on the crowd reactions. However, based on how War Machine is dressed I’ve have to guess that the Horsemen are the heels in this bout.
• VERY surprised how loud the crowd reacted to Nikita Koloff’s entrance, considering this is in a cold war America and his nickname is “The Russian Nightmare”. But he’s a face so SCREW IT! WHOOO!!
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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon!


So normally I try to find three of the most obscure, random matches to present to you guys. But while on the hunt for these elusive squashes, I usually stumble upon some equally great/horrible vignettes, interviews, or just weird-ass TV spots. Let’s switch it up this Sunday morning and check out some of these vignettes!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Let’s start off this unique Squash Match Sunday with everyone’s favorite spicy wrestler, as Curry Man (Konnichiwa!!!!) and “Stone Cold” Shark Boy cut a couple of promos on Team 3D prior to their Fish Market Street Fight at TNA Destination X 2008.

BUT WAIT….HERE’S ANOTHER ONE!!!!

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Our mid card promo features Vince Russo andNO WAITWAITWAIT…are you still there? This promo involves Vince Russo forfeiting his WCW Heavyweight title and setting up a match between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner andNO WAITWAITWAIT…I know I’m 0 for 3 so far…just watch the clip! Goldberg’s involved!

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• The amount of young Jeremy Borash involved in this clip/late WCW is disturbing.
• Here’s the formula for WCW: have a face that you don’t want in the title picture, throw an old WWF heel at them!

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

Not much I can say about YOUR Main Promo of the Morning….your childhood condensed in a 3 minute clip!

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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon and get ready for some primo squash next Sunday!


• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
_____________________

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Nick Bockwinkel is taking on Angel Rivera in a completely unfair, one-sided AWA ring back in 1980. Ahhhh, what a refreshing way to start Squash Match Sunday this morning.

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Our mid card match features an over-the-hill, insanely effeminate Adrian Adonis against an over-the-hill, insane George “The Animal” Steele in a 1986 WWF ring that had no need whatsoever for a referee.

BONUS: It’s called by Gorilla and The Brain.

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• First off, I’m aware that “Adorable” Adrian Adonis has always been an “effeminate” character but….MAH GAWD KING, MAH GAWD!!!
• I’m liking the entrance ramp that is level to the ring. I’m LOVING the usage of the entrance ramp in this match. You go, old fellas!

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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

Now that I’ve gotten all of the squash out of my system, let’s watch a QUALITY wrestling match. A very talkative Chris Jericho (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?!) takes on Juventud Guerrera at WCW/nWo Superbrawl VIII back in 1998. This was one of Jericho’s famous Mask vs. Title matches, where Jericho’s WCW Cruiserweight title and Juvi’s mask are on the line.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• Looks like Jericho is wearing the belt as some sort of psychological advantage. Obviously, he never played with the fans after this stunt.
• Seems as though the only difference between a WCW cruiserweight match on TV and on a PPV is the name on the mat. 110% given at all times by these guys.
• It must have really, really sucked for Juvi to lose his mask. I’m sure it wasn’t exactly a mutual agreenment between Juvi and Bischoff but…”Quasi juice”? “Quasi forever”? Bless you Jericho!
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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon!

• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

So take a break from your courses online and let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Ok, listen…we’re all hungover…no squash matches this morning…you guys are getting the good stuff.

Bret vs. Owen…Wrestlemania X

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Oh God…5 hour happy hour does NOT mean you have to drink all 5 hours…UGHHH!

Cactus Jack vs. Vader…WCW Halloween Havok 1993

SPIN THE WHEEL!!!….MAKE THE DEAL…

Part 1:

Part 2:

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• The opening seconds of this video remind me of the girls last night BEFORE the beer goggles were put on.
• At 7:58 of the first part, you can hear the ref say “I don’t care, I’m not going down there!” I, in fact, laughed out loud.
• Is it weird that I want to wake up every morning just like Vader did? To Cactus Jack holding a cactus waiting for me to get up?
• Seriously…WHY didn’t you talk to that girl last night! She was staring a hole right through you! YOU could have been that douchebag she was tongue wrestling at midnight!!!
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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

…feeling better…wait, I already did a WWE AND a WCW match? …screw it, let’s watch Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles.

…..vs. Christopher Daniels. TNA Unbreakable 2005. 3 way dance for the TNA X Division Belt.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• I know it’s kind of obvious who would win based on the fact that Samoa Joe was undefeated going into this match, but to be able to bill these 3 guys in your main event was a SURE FIRE way to boost the ratings. That’s why WWE is merely a farm promotion for TNA. I must still be drunk.
• How come everytime I see a wrestler caught up in a Tree of Woe, I hear Joey Lawrence finishing off the…WOAH!
• These 3 guys embody what a wrestler is supposed to be: agile, strong, perfect timimg, and the ability to keep the fans on the edge of their seats from bell to bell. So how come I can imagine these guys as curtain jerkers in WWE? Ugh, I think I’m sober.
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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon. Special thanks to everyone who watches these illegally used videos and voted for me in the Who’s Slammy Awards. I do this because I enjoy it, and if you guys watch these videos and it reminds you of a better time then that’s friggin awesome.

Just so you guys know though, the first 2 matches next week will be some Grade A Premium Quality SQUASH!


• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.

…Let’s get to the action!
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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Ho ho ho!!! Merry Christmas!! Or to you non-Gentiles out there…Merry Squash Match Sunday!!! Let’s take a look at Xanta Claus (yes, that’s spelled correctly) as he takes on Scott Taylor on WWF Superstars in 1995.

    Incoming smark comment:

XANTA!…XANTA!…WOAHHHHHHH XANTA!!!

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MID CARD HANGOVER

Sting takes on Ric “Nature Boy” Flair at some random WCW Monday Nitro in 2001. And by random, I mean this is the last match from the last Monday Nitro ever. I know I showcase a lot of Flair and Sting from WCW, so consider this a Christmas present to myself. Besides, I’m hooking you guys up for YOUR Main Event of the Morning!

Things to keep an eye/ear out for:

• If you made a drinking game out of how many times the WCW announce team mentions “Mr. McMahon” during this match…well…you’d be very drunk by the end.
• Every time Schiavone mentions how he isn’t guaranteed a job after this match, I kind of believe him!
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YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING

We’re going indie for our Main Event of the Morning! Jay and Mark Briscoe take on Austin Aries and Roderick Strong for the ROH World Tag Team Championship in 2006. I apologize in advance for the commercial breaks, THIS is why I normally don’t use Dailymotion.

Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:

• Normally I take a cheap dig at the announce team but considering the ROH team commentates with the microphones in their mouths, I can’t make out a word they’re saying.
• So….much…technical wrestling…and proper usage of tag teams…this truly is the most wonderful time of the year!!
• The way this match finished, I can see why the WWE won’t invest on tag teams like these. It would make their singles division look childish…OK, OK, even MORE childish than it already is.
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Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon with this video of your NEW World Heavyweight Champion Daniel “Bryan Danielson” Bryan sneezing with his eyes open!