Little introduction to this article series:
• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Will always showcase the big 3 (WWF/E, WCW, TNA).
• Will sprinkle in some ECW every now and then. We don’t want TOO much bloodshed too early in the morning, now do we?
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.
Now as Jerry Lawler has said to most of his underage honeys…let’s get to the action!
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL
Jerry “The King” Lawler and the Ultimate Warrior start us off this morning with our Early Bird Special squash match. Gotta love the Burger King chants. And as an added bonus, Owen Hart is guest commentating in this match!
MID CARD HANGOVER
This morning’s Mid Card Hangover features Meng climbing into a 1997 WCW ring and taking on Glacier. To be perfecty honest, I didn’t know who was supposed to be jobbing and who was supposed to go over!
Things to keep an eye/ear out for:
• If I were booking for Nitro and I wanted to get the crowd pumped and ready to go, MY first thought would be Meng vs. Glacier too
• “MENG…IS…UNHURTABLE!!!” – Mongo. Obviously, Debra was :/
• More wrestlers should use the karate chop. You go, Glacier!!!
• Ernest Miller run-in!! Ernest Miller run-in!!
YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING
What more fitting of a match than a King of the Mountain Match to cap off another Squash Match Sunday. If you’re not familiar with the King of the Mountain Match, it’s a reverse ladder match with an interesting twist. 5 wrestlers start in the ring and start to do their thing. Once a wrestler pins or makes another wrestler submit, the defeated wrestler must spend 2 minutes in a penalty cage. The “winning” wrestler is now eligible to hang the championship belt above the ring to win the match and the title.
In this particular match, we have Jeff Jarrett, Christian Cage, Abyss, Ron Killings and Sting all competing for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship at TNA Slammiversary 2006.
Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:
• JAMES MITCHELL SIGHTING!!!
• I severely doubt Ron “K-Qwik” Killings still has the ability to procreate after all
of those unnecessary splits.
• Did Slick Johnson buy his bowtie at Spencer’s Gifts? That can’t be a standard issue referee bowtie.
• Yet another great match with a horribly written finish. Oh you silly writers!
Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon and remember…
Larry Zbyszko is watching you……