Little introduction to this article series:
• 3 matches will be spotlighted every Sunday morning based on their nostalgic qualities, their in-ring performances, their campiness, and their performers’ contributions to today’s wrestling world.
• Will always showcase the big 3 (WWF/E, WCW, TNA).
• Will sprinkle in some ECW every now and then. We don’t want TOO much bloodshed too early in the morning, now do we?
• Not EVERY match will be a squash, but it’s always nice to see the fan favorite totally dominate.
• Main event of Squash Match Sunday will normally have a title on the line, and will ALWAYS be a quality wrestling match.
…Let’s get to the action!
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL
Our Early Bird Special comes straight from the video vaults of Kevin McElvaney as Suicide takes on Magnus in a TNA ring ALL THE WAY BACK in 2010.
MID CARD HANGOVER
Now I feel like I’ve had Sting in at least one match a week on Squash Match Sunday for the past few weeks…but…here’s Sting taking on Vampiro in a House of Pain match on WCW Nitro back in 2000.
Things to keep an eye/ear out for:
• So this modified cage match has no referee and the only way to win is to shackle your opponent to the cage so you can “have your way with him”. Tony Schiavone must be salivating at the possibilities.
• STOP CALLING IT A HOUSE OF PAIN! It’s a cage!
• Two facts you might have forgotten about Vampiro:
• Vampiro was not only the main booker for MTV’s Wrestling Society X BUT he was also the first champion in said promotion.
• Dude was a WCW tag team champ with The Great Muta. Seriously.
YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE MORNING
Here’s a treat for everyone who listened to Bowling Shoe Handsome and either was interested to see that hackjob of a rematch between Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker OR was wondering what the hell “This Tuesday in Texas” was.
YOUR main event of the morning is Hulk Hogan vs. The Undertaker (c) at This Tuesday in Texas.
Your main event worthy commentary of the afternoon:
• From the very start of the first video, Gorilla Monsoon is already blabbering about nothing. At least Bobby the Brain is there to even things out.
• I like how Gorilla tries to explain why an atomic drop doesn’t affect Taker. I was really hoping Monsoon would have used the phrase ‘mutilated genitalia’ in his botched explanation.
• Undertaker using his signature move, “The Claw to the Face”. And by signature move, I mean WHAT THE HELL???
• Watching this match really hammered home one thing: Hulk Hogan definitely poured cremated ashes into his hand so he could blind a human being.
Well that about does it from my end, enjoy your Sunday afternoon and remember…
JACK TUNNEY FOR WWE HALL OF FAME!!!