WWBHD: The Answer to All of Wrestling’s Problems

Inspiration.

That four-syllable word can cause a superfluity of problems in the world of professional wrestling.

In today’s economy, it’s understandable that companies have been downsizing and forcing reductions in their number of employees. Some publicly traded organizations like WWE have even brought RIFs to the forefront of television, such as the very public firing of Vice President of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis.

And, of course, it’s always the employees valued as the least necessary who are the first to go. So why wouldn’t pro wrestling titans like WWE and TNA eliminate those pesky writers who do nothing but hang around backstage?

With the true power of final approval resting in the hands of a select few individuals – the Bilderberg Group of sports entertainment, if you will – there really isn’t a need for large “creative” teams any more, right?

But working with a smaller staff means that fewer people are carrying more of the workload. And with the recent expansion to seven hours of weekly television between the two top companies – not including direct-to-Internet programming – that adds a lot of pressure on these individuals.

So it’s understandable that their creativity and logical boundaries will be tested often, and sometimes, it’s not worth putting the energy into producing something original when there are time-tested traditions that seem to work any time.

Hence, the nostalgia pop and constant victories by John Cena, laughably presented as the underdog.

Through the years, top executives at these two companies have tried a number of techniques to improve the inspirational atmosphere in the workplace.

They’ve tried hanging those pictures adorned with majestic animals and outstanding athletes. You know, the ones with the hammerhead phrases and the half-assed explanations beneath them.

When that failed, they tried buying everyone plastic wristbands with phrases like “Live Strong,” “PMA” and “YOLO.” Still, to no avail.

But the answer has been in front of them the entire time, and it’s not even a new revelation. It’s a documented strategy that has led to several of professional wrestling’s finest moments.

To brew inspiration inside of creative writers and those with input into the direction of these mainstream products, corporate leaders simply need to ask their employees five simple words: “What would Brady Hicks do?”

When Hulk Hogan’s character began to ware thin on the audience and, dare I say, become stale, the writers asked themselves this exact question. And the answer was simple: Brady Hicks would turn his back on the loyal masses who had helped him find whatever degree of success he’d managed to muster.

Hence, the nWo.

Did Rikishi do it for The Rock or did he do it for Brady?

When it came time for many of professional wrestling’s biggest reveals, the people behind the stories had to ask “WWBHD?” to find the answer. That query helped them realize that Brady would simply do whatever would irritate the most people and make them question their existence not only as wrestling fans but also as sentient beings.

Hence, Rikishi ran down “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and Hornswoggle was behind the anonymous Raw General Manager shenanigans.

Take a look at every wedding presented in professional wrestling. How many have gone off without a hitch? Not many, and do you really wonder why? WWBHD? Writers have come to realize that Brady will never find a woman willing to sink to depths low enough to exchange vows with such a lowly man as himself.

Hence, no one else can enjoy hassle-free nuptials and ride off into holy matrimony peacefully either.

But why exactly does WWBHD work so well? That answer is just as simple as the expression itself. Brady Hicks represents the lowest common denominator of professional wrestling fans.

He lives in his own ideological world, isolated and unaccepting of the views of others. He puts down projects like The Wrestling Daily – a concept well ahead of its time – yet produces what he considers to be worthy Internet ramblings and radio blabber.

Brady Hicks — much like the writers and brain trusts behind mainstream professional wrestling — doesn’t care what others think; he only cares about himself. There are rumors that the entire principle of WWBHD derived from Brady’s own sick mind; an attempt at doing better than getting himself trending on Twitter. His goal was to influence an industry and bring his idea of self-centered revolution to the masses.

Stop, take a look around and you’ll realize the sad truth of the world: It seems he may have succeeded. This is a post-TWD world, where wrestling fans resort to browse-refresh-click combinations on copy-and-paste dirt sheets almost as much as they do rinse-rather-repeat in the shower.

The thirst for intellectual insight and knowledge isn’t a concept fans understand any more. They’re satisfied with whatever drivel is being dished out like slop in a prison yard today from the Lords and Insiders of the world.

But can you blame the fans really? After all, they’re likely just asking themselves “WWBHD?”


Adam Testa is the former Marketing Director of The Wrestling Daily. He’s had one or two minor writing gigs since the fall of TWD but someday he’s bound to hit the big time.


2 Responses to WWBHD: The Answer to All of Wrestling’s Problems

  1. Avatar Matthew
    Matthew says:

    Enjoyed the read, good to see ya back in action.

  2. Ouch! Adam … you had me with the whole “Brady Hicks doesn’t care what other people think” stuff and how influential I am. But to say that I will never find a woman to marry me?! I protest!

    I had one to marry me … but I chose my professional career instead!
    Hmmm …